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27th-Jun-2017 04:56 pm(no subject)
I should continue my RNA extraction, but meh, I'll do it tomorrow. I should also review my German lessons for the test later, but I'll do it later.
For now, here's another drabble that no one asks for. I was going through my fanfics and found the ones I wrote more than two years ago. How time flies. Here's another one after so long, only because I finally live with a dog and once more rejoice in a cold evening walk.


One day in fall, he takes Mauer out for a walk.
Usually, Ludwig is the main dog-walker of the household, who takes Mauer out for a run early in the morning, when the sun is barely peeking through the horizon, and in the evening right after dinner. Sometimes he joins them, but never runs, and at such time both man and dog would slow down to match his pace as they go down to the nearby parkland.
But today, Ludwig cannot take Mauer out for his evening walk. There is a meeting in the evening, he says, which may last for hours, because his associates are abroad and there is a time difference. Just have dinner first, it is ready in the fridge. There is a comedy show at 8 on the telly, maybe you’d want to watch that? Sorry again that he cannot join.
Seven thirty. Mauer has been fed and so has he. The show will not be on for another half hour and it is quiet in the house. It is early fall and there is a gentle breeze from the window. The sky is dark with scattered clouds.
And so, he grabs Mauer’s leash, clips it on his collar and gets out of the house.
There is no one on the street. All is quiet, but not at all still. The wind gently blows through the trees and ruffles the leaves, making them sing a quiet tune. The streets are shrouded in darkness, only patches were lit by the nearby street lamps, a golden hue. Moths buzzing by the lamps, their wings flickered shadows on the ground. The air is cool and fresh.
Mauer is a ball of sunshine by his legs. He pants quietly as they walk, his nails clicked softly on the pavement, his bushy tail swishing from side to side. Once in awhile, he stops to sniff at a tree stump and peers curiously at a mushroom cap. Their feet shuffle quietly on the grass, their noses damp with the smell of soil and plants.
At the end of the street, where it joins a bigger road, there are the brightest light. Tall metal lamps with bulbous head, illuminating their corner of the road. As they walk towards them, a figure steps into the light. Then stops.
He looks at the man from his place in the shadow. A fearless, all-encompassing figure, hair shining like the sun and eyes blazing like the morning star. Him, however, small and afraid, absorbed by the dark. The man looks so, so far away, like the light from a lighthouse in the storm, warm and wonderful yet impossible to reach. He wants to go to the man, to share the warm light and away from the cold darkness, to ask for mercy and kindness and forgiveness and grace.
Behind his eyes, he remembers doing this before, on his knees in the dark praying towards the light.
But then the man smiles and reaches a hand to him. He tilts his head and the picture shatters. Next to him, Mauer is barking excitedly, wagging his tails and pulling his leash. He lets Mauer pull him forward, one step, then another step.
Mauer’s hair shines like the sun, the hand catches his elbow and Ludwig smiles at him like he is the most precious in the world. He sees himself in Ludwig’s eyes, his hair also shining like the moon, and he is in the light.
Later, when they are draped across the sofa and half-asleep, the sound of comedy hums in the background like a blanket, he closes his eyes and sees his knees once more on the hard ground, his skin tingles with the winter wind, the light in front of him impossibly far.
But then he feels a warm hand threading into his hair, and he takes a step forward.
bitsy vader
27th-Jun-2017 11:49 am - Dead girl on a chaise and others
Two parts to this dream:
1. I had at least a younger brother and two younger sisters (they all looked very Caucasian). One day I came home (a two-floor townhouse) to a murder scene: blood spray absolutely everywhere on the wall and furniture, blood pools on the floor, everything in disarray, trinkets on shelves scattered and broken on the floor, the stench of death heavy in the air, absolutely not a sound. The entrance of the house opened into a narrow hallway with pastel floral wallpaper, wooden cupboard with supposedly little ceramic figurines, very Victorian dollhouse-like. I went straight from the entrance, through the mayhem of the hallway, to the staircase at the end of it, and walked upstairs. On the right side of the hallway was the entrance of the living room, which I didn't go in but for some reasons I was sure that I would find my brother's dea body inside. The staircase, also sprayed with blood, was oddly brightly sunlit and seemed to glow white. As I got to the hallway upstairs, there was more chaos, blood and signs of a fight along the way. As I passed by one of the small bedrooms on my right side, I could see a dead girl inside. The room had no entrance and was separated from the hallway by a thick black satin drape, with Gothic pattern, it was so small and narrow it was more like a closet. Inside, the floor was also carpeted in black (the hallway had wood panels), there was a small coffee table in the middle, on its left, a lounge chair all in dark colours, draped on top of it was a very pale girl of around 10. She had long silver hair, her skin was as pale as the moon, her eyes were such a pale blue they might as well be white, she was dressed in a lolita-styled dress and shoes, with high stockings, all in white. Her head was towards me and she seemed to be staring at my upside-down. The only colour on her was a red gash at her neck where blood had trickled out into a pool of blood underneath. For reasons unknown this girl was one of my sisters. Then I moved on to the final bedroom at the end of the corridor, which was much more spacious. The room also looked like a hurricane had swept through, furniture upheaved and drapes and beddings slashed and scattered all over. In the middle of the torn bed was another girl, my other sister. She was about 13 maybe, Caucasian but not as pale as the dead girl, her black hair was in a bobcut and her eyes were dark brown. She wore dark brown/purple long sleeved tee shirt and dark coloured pants. And she was very much alive. She saw me coming in and nodded in acknowledgement. I just knew in my mind that this girl was the one who murdered my other siblings, not because she said anything, or there was a weapon near her, I just knew. The girl didn't look very shocked or scared or anything in particular, she just looked pretty dazed the entire time, like she was in a trance, but still somewhat aware of her surroundings. I remember asking her, what had she done this time now, like she had always been a psychopath and was a hair away from being a criminal, but had never killed anyone or done anything horrible, up until now. I myself didn't feel shocked, or outraged, or afraid either. It was a horrific scene, but I found myself feeling more resigned than anything, like I knew this would happen sooner or later.
2. I got myself a job at Target. It was about 6-7pm and the store was closed for business. It was dark outside, the streetlights were up and so were all the lights inside the store. I was stocking up things on the rack, mostly clothes. The store was quite big, floor and wall all in white with red highlights. The only things in my sight was clothes, racks and racks of colourful clothes in neat layout and shelves. The rack were higher than me so I couldn't see what was on the other side if I stood next to one. It was maybe my first day at work and I was pretty excited about it. There were a few other girls working the same shift as me and among them was CG. She had been working here for longer than me and she started showing me what to do whenever I made a mistake (which was plenty time). After an hour or so the store opened (must be around 8pm) and people started coming in, at which point my shift finished and I went home.
bitsy vader
22nd-Jun-2017 06:38 pm(no subject)
I once again dreamed of a dead Sammy.
Seriously, what's up with that?? I swear I am not fixated (well, maybe I am a little, what's with mom and dad constantly mentioning how old he is. I don't care, all right? I'm chest-deep in denial. Sammy is and always will be my baby, and I don't care how old he is in human years, he's born after 2000 (we'll never know his real age, since we took him in as a stray, and since he still has that baby face I'm inclined to say I will never know when he was born) and that makes him my baby no matter what. I don't care that he's got white hair in his black coat, that he walks like my grandma and that he hardly ever dilates his pupil and looks like he is in a constant sleepy mode. He's my BABY KITTY, all right?).
Lost track of my dream last night, although it was pretty vivid when I woke up. Forgot all about it when I got to uni so I didn't type it down then, but suffice to say that in my dream Sammy had passed away, and I was not around for it, and I was told of it afterwards, like a couple months afterwards, and I could only remember me crying uncontrollably for a good hour or so. Funny thing is, usually this kind of thing makes me cry in real life as well, and would wake me up and I'd find myself crying in my sleep. This time, not really. I woke up around 7, my cheeks were dry even though my eyes felt kind of crummy (it might just be the sleep, not tears). All I could recall was that Sammy died, and I cried. No telling what happened and when and where, I just knew it happened.
Also, there was something in that dream concerning my sister, but that has been filtered out, or had evaporated into the wind by the time I woke up. Eh.
At least it was a bright sunny day, and I had Sammy's photo as my laptop's background, and he looks like a baby cat, and that cheered me up.
I mean, look at him!
bitsy vader
18th-Jun-2017 09:16 am(no subject)
Conversations before bed do affect my dreams, I guess.
So I had a late night talk w CG yesterday, and hence this was my dream.
I was studying at a university at which my faculty was also going to move to a new building, which was being built, but for some reasons we were relocated out of our old buiding into a temprorary new one in the meantime. There was nothing to do at the lab yet (as there was no lab), so I ended up helping out the construction crew at the site of the new building (and I don't think I was doing a good job, the guys working there glared at me a whole lot, prob due to my uselessness). I took the bus to uni as per usual (btw, the layout of these buildings and their location were not at all like IRL), but for some reason as I was walking to the bus stop, Max followed me. Dream!Max looked and behaved just right RL!Max, he was excitable and twitchy and had his usual blue collar on. He didn't have his leash with him, but for some reason I took him to uni with me on the bus anw (real life: yesterday a lady walked down from my usual bus with a cat carrier, with an actual cat inside, which was odd since you weren't supposed to bring non-working animals with you on public transports, but eh, the cat was pretty). He more or less behaved on the bus, he sat pretty still and just gazed at everyone on the bus with big round eyes (no one on the bus reacted to him getting on, maybe they thought he was an assistance dog?). When we got to uni I walked him to my office space (without the leash on, and he didn't bolt, which cued me in on the fact that this was a dream) and left him there, before going to the construction site for work (it was like 5 mins walk away). I helped a group of guys in hi-vis vest and hardened helmet (I wasn't wearing anything protective) with some cable work (a long steel construction had to be propped vertically and they did it by propping it with cables, which ran out quickly so I needed to keep on supplying the person handling it with more cables, which they could just slab onto the existing cable and they'd be magically joined), but I wasn't good at it and the guy in charge wasn't very happy. At noon I came back to my office and saw Max sitting at the entrance and when he saw me he started roaming around. He had also peed on the floor, which fortunatelly wasn't carpeted, so I wiped that up and decided to call someone to pick him up. Now, I have no idea who this girl was, she was my housemate maybe, who was younger than me, which short black hair and a car that could take Max home. In lieu of the talk with CG, am gonna call this girl her sister, even though I have no idea what she looks like. So I called her, and she brought the car around, but she didn't know where I was or the layout of our buildings, so I had to describe to her where to meet up (the complex was made up of mostly uni buildings which was not common knowledge to other people, plus there was still construction happening so it was all round confusing).
bitsy vader
16th-Jun-2017 11:49 am(no subject)
For once I did not dream myself an uncomfortable scenario (that I can remember).
I was in Singapore, or Australia, or some odd city (as per usual) hanging out with ~Q~, and at one point we ended up meeting CG and Noko, who were both wearing matching blue skirts with dove grey silk shirts, and they looked so cute standing next to each other and I was so jealous of the fact that they wore matching clothes.
There was a drug bust at some point but details have slipped my mind.

In other news Max is staying at the vet clinic today. He's got an ear rash and they reckoned he's got an allergy or some kind, but since his ear is clogged up with discharge they would do a clean for that ear and check whether the ear drum is fine, and do some testing for him. He needs to be sedated, since he really dislikes having that ear looked at, he whines and cries and shakes his head nonstop and they couldn't really examine the ear. Will pick him up in the evening after uni, hopefully they figure out what's the matter with him.

Also, Helen broke up with her boyfriend and has been calling me a lot.
I talked to her as she pleased, but do I seriously look like someone you come for relationship advice?? This boggles me.

Anw, gonna have my fake!Reuben sandwich for lunch (it's got bread, and sauerkraut, and pulled pork, and cheese), and have yogurt for dessert. It's a rainy gloomy day today and I haven't got my umbrella, but whatever. Just hope that it doesn't rain when I pick up Max, he wouldn't mind the rain but I really don't care having him shake all his rainwater onto my good coat.
Yes, I sound like a snob, but I've got dog-safe clothes (hoodies and jeans) and non-dog safe clothes (most dresses, and the more expensive coat and cardigan).
bitsy vader
13th-Jun-2017 12:57 pm - Things about my dream, again
I have the feeling that this journal is 80% dedicated to my dream memos. Not that that's a bad thing, but anyway.
So, snippets of dream from last night:
- A giant grizzly, dark brown and about 2m upright on his hind legs, swimming in a big rectangular swimming pool. He spent the majority of the time submerged at the bottom of the pool, swimming in streamline with his forelegs tucked alongside his body, like a massive flounder.
- Mom asking me to send her some money, about $10k or something, because apparently she had some sort of business and had to borrow someone (like a family friend)'s money for funding, and now while the business was all right she didn't have enough to pay him back, and she preferred not to owe him money. So she asked me if I had enough money, and I said yes, and then she asked me to give her some (see above), which I agreed to do.
- Me in Dong Nai, which looked nothing like Dong Nai (for once, there was a multilayered traffic system, like in LA or something, with highways on highways on highways. I was standing at the bottommost one underneath another highway. Not a lot of cars and the columns that support the concrete had flowerbeds and creepers planted on the bottom, like in San Diego). I was waiting for a bus to go back to HCMC because apparently I could.There was a bus stop right underneath a column so I walked there, and when I checked online, apparently any bus departing from that stop would go to HCMC, which seemed really far-fetched as I couldn't think of that many interprovincial buses (and I was sure it was a weekend or a holiday, and the buses were super frequent, like every 10 mins). Then I thought I'd just wait for a bus to arrive and ask the driver. Then at one point I checked the website again (dream!me was not familiar with this city and its public transport system), I realised that the ticket for the bus had to be booked online, and there were like 2 tix left (there were two ranks for the tix, either a premium one which had 2 left or regular, which was all sold out).
- An old classmate whom I'm gonna call Cat for now cos that was what we called her back then. As I sat at the bus stop, she came sitting right next to me. She had her hair in two pig tails like she used to, and she was also wearing her junior high uniform for some reasons. Can't remember anything else regarding her, just that the same girl appeared in a dream a day before, but with a different settting: she was home alone and decided to have a party at her place and invited people over, including me. I didn't know anyone else at the party (except for Inbox who was also there for some reasons, and like another dream I had few weeks ago, he was talking to me and I perceived that as teasing/flirting and got super uncomfortable and became a porcupine and raised all my hackles and ignored him, at which point he gave up and went elsewhere), and so I ended up helping out with setting up the party and cleaning up afterwards and generally avoided being at the party itself (sounds like a 'me' kind of thing to do). After the party was over, Cat started cleaning up alongside me, but she looked like she was upset about something the entire time, like she was unhappy with how I did things or I'd put something in the wrong location or I did something I shouldn't have (she looked cross, and answered snippily when I asked her something). Then by the end, her parents returned when we weren't finished cleaning up and so as she went downstairs to distract them, I tried to pull all the mess into her room and away from the common area.
bitsy vader
3rd-Jun-2017 03:15 pm - Ladies in hot leather skirts
(At risk of sounding like a pig) Wonder Woman reminded me of how awesome being bisexual is.
(lately, I've been pondering this as well, since someone casually pointed out my lack of partner and classed me as asexual, which does have some sort of sense, seeing that although I could fall in love with both men and women, I don't find a lack of sex life disturbing, rather the contrary, which defeats the 'sexual' part in 'bisexual', but hey, this was supposed to be a post about WW, so don't let my personal stuff get in the middle of that)
General verdict: it was much better than I expected it to be.
Granted, my expectation was pretty low, and Logan is still my favourite superhero movie of the year (or maybe ever, I still cannot get over the whole X-23/Logan's death thing, I still felt like bawling my eyes out when I watched that CinemaSins vid of it), and since the DC movies last year weren't that great, and I don't get the whole feminism movement that comes along with Wonder Woman being mainstream (to me, superheroes and superheroines are part of the superhero genre, I don't notice the lack of female majority, it never really bothers me. To me: Robin is cool, and Starfire is annoying, Beast and Cyborg are funny and Raven kicks ass; Batman is good, Superman is meh, Hawkgirl is eh-don't-care-much-for-her, and Wonder Woman looks really hot). I can appreciate the fact that she kicked more ass than both Superman and Batman in a Batman v Superman movie, but to me that was a one-time thing. I was not on pins and needles waiting for her solo movie to come out, not as much as I am for Spiderman.
But hey, I went and watched it anyway, because why not. I've made worse cinema decisions, like that Warcraft thing.
So yeah, I ended up enjoying it quite a bit.
The opening (which was about Diana's childhood, not that 1 minute in France scene thingy) was very beautiful (where did they film this thing and I hope it was an actual place and not all CG because it was extremely beautiful), both the scenery and the people (there was an army of hot women in skimpy outfit riding horses and swordfighting and generally being awesome). It was refreshing to see such a different setting (I've had too much of those modern city scenes), the screen was awashed with cobalt blue and lush green and leather brown and it was such a treat to the eye, it did a good lifting my spirit (also, I had 2 glasses of wine beforehand at the Friday seminar and was a bit sleepy from them). Unfortunately Diana left Themyscira soon enough, so no more beautiful women posing on horses on white sand. She went to England, then continental Europe afterwards, which were shrouded in grey smoke from WWI, so it was a very drastic change in scene and it did a great job throwing me out of the tranquil world of Diana's home world, just like how Diana's transition from being an innocent, wide-eyed girl into the harsh reality of the world outside of her home sanctuary.
Once away from home, she showed all signs of her unblemished youth, caring yet naive, strong yet disillusioned. The movie was essentially still an action superhero origin story, because it showed in how they decided not to dig too deep into her psyche (Gal Gadot did a great job portraying her however, and also she is just so pretty! How does her hair not messed up after she's done a million jumps and flips and stabbing??). Which is a shame in my opinion, because I could really do with another heartfelt superhero movie and Wonder Woman was already serious as it was (it wasn't dark, since the whole fish-out-of-water thing Diana had going on and other characters did bring humour to the bleak dark world of 1918 Europe). She was on the way to a great psychological movie and she did not get there, but that was my two cents, so good job anyway.
Chris Pine did a much better job than I thought as well. He served as a love interest and the person to bring her into the real world as well as the one to show her her womanhood (in more ways than one, they slept together so he more or less took her virginity (and how makes me wonder if Diana engaged in casual sex with other women on Themyscira, which is building up to be quite an image in my head, so let's leave it at that), and also his death helped her unleashed her full godly power. He died in the end, which served as a nice bowcap on top of this Wonder Woman origin story, but also he by himself was a strong character who was fully human with all his flaws and vices, yet was a perfect gentleman with her, sweet and kind, and yet also was a man of his own standing and belief, who sacrificed himself to his cause without fear. It made for a strong side character that both had his own legs and could boost the image of Wonder Woman, at once both humanise her and show the similarities and contrasts between her, a demi-god and him, a mortal man.
Also, whenever Diana called Steve (that's his character's name), I kept on thinking of him as Captain America, and so the finale when he did a suicide run to blow up the plane full of deadly gas just reminded me of this whole Cap thing with crashing the plane in the Artic. What's with Steves and plane crash?
Overall, the story was fine (I'd give it a 6.5/10 if I can). The whole WWI setting does get to me quite a lot (it was no WWII, but still), and the scene where the men following Wonder Woman's charge into the battlefield really twisted a nice heartstring (I could see how fabricated it was, yet it still made me want to cry, but I cry very easily so don't let it be the judge to anything :P). The story it was pretty simple, Ares (god of war) disguising as this British lord created an armistice between the UK and Germany at the end of WWI in order to spur this one German general (Ludendorff) into collaborating with this chemistry genius in creating a deadly gas (WWI's history of chemical warfare was much mentioned) which was then used to further lengthen the war? It made sense I guess, but also made me wonder if Ares also started WWI, and how, and what about the end, was he gone for good, but that made no sense (what about WWII, and the Cold War, and the Korean War, and the Gulf War, and the Iraq War, and everything else in between that I can't remember, or are you saying those don't exist in the DCEU?). The whole him trying to goad Wonder Woman into teaming up with him was kind of silly too (I couldn't think of him as omnious when he bore the face of David Thewlis, if you don't know him, he's the one who played Remus Lupin in the HP series. See what I mean? That's not a scary face). But eh, I stopped caring so much about villains after the weird Doomsday thing, so whatever.
That's all for now I think. I'm happy with what I saw, could be better but not the worst I've seen. I had fun, and Diana was really hot (I cannot stress that enough, and I'm a girl so I think I'm allowed to). Would be happy to see her again in JL, which is coming out end of this year, gah, so many superhero movies!!
But hey, Spiderman! And Tony Stark <3
bitsy vader
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